TFB tries on a new hat.

When bored, (it happens after all three kids are in bed and you just
don't feel like doing housework..again!) I skim the Internet looking
for some fun blogs to read. In those travels, I've come across many theme blogs. By theme, I mean blogs all about making motherhood
easy, ways to relieve stress, Fast and Easy recipe blogs, Household
Tips and Hints blogs etc etc. I got to thinking about how TFB is just a hodge podge of whatever crap enters my head or whatever pics I feel
like sharing. Maybe TFB could be more than that. Maybe I could use TFB to offer more than my crappy sense humour.

Like since I never have time, as the name TFB suggests, maybe I could turn this into a blog about useful time saving tips for other moms.

I could be the new Fly Lady.

Except TFB style.
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TFB Top Ten Time saving Tips for the frazzled TFB Mom's
out there.

1. Fast Food Flyer's/Cooking : Buy a binder and store all the fast food flyer's that come in swarms on the weekends and store those suckers in there. It will keep your counter top or junk drawer neat and seeing as were all about saving time, forgo cooking and just order in. It will be so easy to just flip through, saving time. Whose really has time
to cook anyways?

2. Dishes: This is easy, Nag Nag Nag your husband until he buys you
a proper dishwasher. Even better, if your kids are of age, totally make it their "duty". As soon as the boy and the girl can, they will be. You can count on it!

3. Grocery Shopping: DO NOT TAKE THE KIDS. Honestly grab a babysitter if you need too. Its worth the money to be able to just wander up and down those isles at a snails pace, not threatening little Johnny or Susie Q that if they don't behave your going to send their arses to china.
Don't forget to buy ready to go food! They even sell the veggies all chopped up now! Think of the time you'll save! (This is about time saving, not money saving..work with me)

4. Laundry: Buy enough socks and undies for at least three weeks
or more. Then your not stuck doing laundry every single week. T shirts
and pants can be worn more than once. Convince your kids to start
some new trends...inside out is the next big thing!!

5. Phone: First, call display is a must. Then you can avoid wasting
your time with telemarketers, and those people who talk for hours.
You know the ones I mean. Those Aunt Betty's of the world who feel
the need to discuss their very intimate details of their health to the
point where they have you turning green and faking your own mystery illness just to get off the damn phone. If you need to contact someone,
do it through email. Then its on your terms and you can make it short and sweet. Email is a gift. Use it!

6. Yard Work: There must be a teenage boy in your neck of the
woods looking to earn a little cash. Think of it as doing a good deed. Helping that kid with his pot school funds.

7. Bed Time Routine: Pick a time, stick to it. Get the older kids to assist the younger kids. Convince the kids how much more fun showers really are compared to boring old, sitting in your own filth baths. Trust me, grossing them out about germs works!!

8. Floors: sweep every other day, mop only where people can see. Who cares whats under stuff..who looks there? Convince your six year old how much fun vacuuming really is. It worked for me!

9. Home Repairs: Hire a GOOD professional. The only way its going to get done, done fast and done right the first time. Instead of walking over tools and discarded materials for months and having doors of cabinets "mysteriously" pop off. Not only will you save time, you will
also save your marriage.

10. ???


There are only nine, because I simply don't have time to come up with a tenth one.

So, ya, um...maybe this whole time saving thing really isn't going to take off for TFB...

The beach is the bees knees.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Last weekend before school starts.

The social invites came in, but we decided against being away, choosing to stay close to home and just hang with our kids. With the boy starting grade one this year, he will be gone the entire day and of course the girl is starting JK, and she will be gone mornings.

On one hand I feel a little like celebrating,(WAHOO!) as I will have just the baby in the mornings, and just the girl in the afternoons while the baby sleeps. Life will be just that "tiny" bit quieter. On the other, I am a bit sad that my boy will now be gone for full day

WACK!!.GIVE YER HEAD A SHAKE WOMAN!

I know, this is the moment we moms are all supposed to celebrate and look forward to. I am bucking up now. Seriously. Besides, I only said a bit.

Okay, so we thought a great end of the summer thing to do would be to pack a picnic lunch and take the kids to the beach. So after chasing Colin, packing all the beach crap, a decent lunch, removing Colin from the table and getting everyone dressed we headed off to our beachy destination.

When we arrive, it is lunch time, so we drag beachy crap, kids and cooler to a spot, set up and sit down for the worlds fastest picnic. The moment we unwrap our sandwiches and pop open the cucumber slices, we are dived bombed by bees. Not one, but many. Who knew bees go to the beach too....did I mention I hate bees? It's been said before on this blog, my unnatural HATE for anything insect. I'd link back, but I am too lazy. Seriously.

I HATE BEES. The kids ate what they good as fast as they could, nothing like a little indigestion when you going in for a swim. We threw everything into the cooler and shut her tight. Not a single bee remained.
@$@#*$&(@#)...bees....

Some picnic.

On the bright side, no one was stung, and despite his repeated attempts, the baby didn't drown. All in all, a good trip out.

The Invasion

Well, my house, the dog, the rats, myself and even the kids survived the invasion of Girls this past Friday. The verdict is out on the bird.

There was little mess, despite 10 kids tromping through. The best thing, it was a very well behaved group of 10. Which is amazing in itself. They came, they played, the ate, they left.

Lets do it again soon!

Dontchya wish yer mama could bake like me.

Today I decided to go all domestic and bake some cookies. Not just any cookies either. I was totalling channeling Martha.These cookies ROCK!Chewy goodness on the inside, lovely brown doneness on the outside. I totally have Mad Baking Skillz. HAHAHA..That statement is annoying, I can't take my self seriously. Okay, so I don't often take my self seriously...I know but..*Smack*

Where was I, oh yeah, the world was against me. Despite having cold crappy weather all week, today, this very day, the sun decided to return and reheat the earth. Now its like a bloody sauna. I am sitting here doing nothing more than typing and I am close to heat exhaustion. Its DAMN HOT. But alas, I must solider on. For you see, these cookies were baked in anticipation of tomorrow. Why is tomorrow so special?

Well my friends, the lovely thing about the Internet is that you do ACTUALLY meet some decent folks. In fact, I am lucky enough to have met a few, but there are two in particular I am excited in meeting and tomorrow is the day.

These two gals are busy moms who juggle many kids and in home careers. Two gals that I have been chatting with since Jan, and most often than naught, we do little chatting, but much laughing. Laughing to the point where my stomach hurts, my eyes water and I snort and live in fear of waking the kids. Its an ongoing lifeline of sorts, bad day, good day, something funny to share, they are there. Its been a fun ride and tomorrow is just the icing on the cake.

So tomorrow is the big day. We meet face to face after months of pranks and silliness. Ten kids in total vrs three adults.

I think my house just shuddered.

Yet still, I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!


Lobe me.xo.

The boy who drove his mother mad.

TFB is in a frazzled state of late. The baby has set on a course to drive his mother mad. MAD I TELL YOU!! Its amazing how much stress the wee creatures can instill in the short course of a day.

So I ask you, and really, I am not above whining, why will my one year old child NOT stay OFF the kitchen table? Seriously. I think I must remove him 100 times a day from the table. There are SIX chairs, its not like I can hide them in the bathroom. There used to be a fruit basket on the table, but as I found him sitting on the table, taking one bite out of the apples and then chucking them on floor, I've since removed it.

My day kinda goes like this:

7:30am: wake up, get children up and dressed

7:45: Remove baby from table

8:00am - serve and eat breakfast

8:30am -Clean up breakfast, and remove baby from table

8:45 - Empty Dishwasher, clean dishes, remove baby from table

9:00am - Remove baby from table

9:02am - Remove baby from table

9:05am - Remove baby from table

and so on and so on...

He's moved on from just the kitchen table and now will resort to climbing on pretty much anything that is higher than him. Like for instance this past weekend we had a BBQ in the yard with friends. After dessert was served to all the older kids, they took off to play and left their plates on the table.

I turn around and this is what I found:

Laying low and sneaking dessert remnants from his sisters plate.

And looking mighty proud of himself too.

What?

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Someone please tell me this will be a very short lived phase?

Meh.

I think I might just go out to the garage and grab some rope and tie the bloody chairs to the table. That'll learn him...that and the rest of us will have to stand to eat, but hey, I will have WON!!

The birds have all gone MAD!

So two posts ago, I wrote about a strange experience with a wild baby bird. Well slap me silly and call me Jack Hanna, we've had another. In the same week!
I let the dog out for his before bed pee break and suddenly he's chasing a bird in the yard that can't fly. Great. Just Great. I am thinking how the heck can this happen twice in the same bloody week! (And no its not the same bird or one of its siblings). I chase the dog back in the house and proceed to chase this non flying bird around my front yard like a moron. The little bugger may not be able to fly, but he can sure as heck go fast on those little stick feet. I am sure, that all the neighbours sitting outside wondering what the idiot across the street was up to. After much effort, I finally catch the damn thing on my front stoop.

This time its a friggin baby robin that fell out of its nest. I am beginning to think maybe this is a sign? An omen? Should I be worried? I have this fear that I may wake up one day to find my house covered in birds? I am sure there is a horror movie about this, no?

Well strange story has a happy ending. I put the bird in a cage and left it out on the covered porch, and when I checked on it in the morning, the mom was on the fence talking to it, with berries in its mouth. I released it and they were reunited. Good deed done.

Now all the rest of you little birds...STAY IN YOUR FRIGGIN TREES!

Photo Friday - Theme Blue

Over at Crazy Hip Blog Mamas its Photo Friday. This is my offering. It doesn't get any bluer than this! The baby loves to swim, and yes I am fully aware the baby is wearing girlie Dora floaties. Hey, its all we have!

And all the little birds go tweet, tweet, tweet.

Today while sitting on the back deck with Eric and a couple friends, I suddenly see this brown thing flapping crazily and flying towards me, to the point of it landing on my head. I calmly tell Eric to remove it. Er, or maybe I freaked out like a little school girl screaming at the top of her lungs "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF". I'll let you decide.

Eric gets the intruder OFF of my head, and it turns out that its a wee baby bird, that is constantly ruffling its wings and tweeting like mad, yet strangely has zero desire to fly away from us.

Eric fearing that its ill with some infectious disease, like oh say, the bird flu or even Ebola, is quick to be rid of this strange creature. He takes it out to the big Ash tree in our yard and gingerly coaxes the baby sparrow onto a low branch and starts back towards the house. Seconds later, the wee bird lands on him again. At this point, we, as in those not handling the bird, are killing ourselves laughing and yelling "MAMA" at Eric.

He tries again to leave the bird in the tree, again and again. "MAMA". It seems the wee bird has taken a shine to Eric. I rummage a box from the garage and Eric attempts to get the wee bird into the box. We give him some bird seed and some water, but instead of eating, he flies up to the edge of the box, tweeting like mad and ruffling his feathers, and turns his affections towards me. "MAMA"
The boy is getting excited. "Can we keep him? Can we keep him?". I am like no friggin way. In the end we couldn't get this bird to stay in a tree or off one of us. That and our dog was sure it would be a tasty treat, so we enlisted the help of a neighbour. She took the bird and put it in a cage out on her back deck until its strong enough to fly and hunt for food on its own. Much to the dismay of the boy, who was sure he had won himself a new pet to add to our ever growing zoo.

Bye Bye Chirpy!

MAMA!

Back from the Dead...almost

Is anyone still reading TFB? Ya, I know, bad blogger. With summer here, all the kids at home, places to go, people to see, there really is not much time for poor little TFB blog. I am sure you understand. That and Facebook has me totally hooked!! (But that's a whole other post)

Okay, I've played with a few templates, and I have finally decided on this one for now. I love it! Hope you do too. Let's see how long I leave it. Its so much work to tweak each new one. Truly it is.
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Its been a crazy summer. The past five weeks have flown by in a blink. We've had the kids in summer camp for two weeks, we've been at the cottage for one of the weeks and for one long weekend, been to a friends cottage for another long weekend, we painted our white fence (totally channelled Huck Finn those days) plus throw in a few day trips here and there and it brings us to August.

Now its times to get ready for TWO of my kids for school. Did I mention that TWO of my kids are going to school? TWO!

** Micki kicks off her flip flops and does her happy dance!**

Okay so the girl is only going for half days, but hey its a whole morning minus two. I'll take it!

The baby has turned into a full fledged toddler, walking, climbing, running and basically turning my natural "insert colour possibility here" hair grey. By far, this one is the most adventuresome of the three. I see duct tape and a harness in his future. Oops, sorry that was my outside voice.

I am very depressed that Rockstar didn't return this summer. That was a terrific show. What do we have this summer? Big Brother, which listening to the pile of idiots on there can make ya hurl crap at the TV.
I could write a novel on those morons easily. I really don't give a crap who wins, they all bug me!

So what do I do with the bit of spare time I have, I Facebook. Hey, I've reconnected with a few old friends from days gone by. To me, that's worth it in the end.

Under Construction

Working on a new look for TFB AGAIN...the last one was taking too long to load...I may be trying out a few....and then I PROMISE to post something...haha