Gingerbread whats?

Every Christmas I baked these certain rolled sugar cookies for our kids to leave for Santa. These are a huge family favorite, so we always make lots. "We" spend hours decorating them with icing and sprinkles. By "we", you know I mean that my kids and husband decorate, oh, about 4 each and then I am stuck to decorate the rest. Which would be about 4 dozen. For just me. It takes FOREVER. Just me, all by my lonesome.

To avoid that, I invited a friend and her two kids over to have a cookie decorating party. Crazy you say? Kids and sugar out the wazoo? Brave? Yes, yes I am. That or just plain stupid.

The kids were raring to go. The sugar fumes going straight to their heads. Icing of all colours covered them and their cookies. Some of the little Picasso's cookies so laden with sprinkles, one could barely lift them. It was a frenzy of dipping, dripping and sprinkling. The kids sneaking sugar every chance they could get. Then, when they tired of the fun, they headed off to the playroom. A gaggle of sugar highs, the playroom was met with a fury it had never seen before.

While they tore around the playroom, my friend and I stayed the course. We still had a bazillion cookies to finish. Onward, we trudged.

What do you think happens when two adult females are left alone, high off the sugar fumes them self, decorating cookie after cookie after cookie. Boredom sets in. Then two very creative females find ways to make the cookies a little different. I mean, there is only so much you can do with stars, trees and candy canes. Gingerbread men, now, that just opens up a whole new world.

Meet Gingerpimp and his Gingerho's...

Leave it to my friend and I to completely taint an innocent holiday tradition.

You give what to your kids?

While playing with their new gigantic play kitchen (thanks Nana and Papa) on Christmas Eve, the following conversation was overheard:

the girl: honey, would you like some wine

the boy: No thanks, I don't want that

the girl: What the hell am I supposed to do with it then? Guess I'll just give it to the kids.


Disclaimer: We do NOT give our kids wine. No matter what she says.

Egg Noggity Nog Nog

My husband seems to have forgone all other beverages during this Holiday season, in favour of his old favorite, egg nog. The festive drink of the season. Meh.

Myself, I am not a huge fan. However, in the spirit of the Holidays, when I do groceries, I will pick up whatever nog is on sale. Egg nog is egg nog, right? You would think, but this is not the case at our house. It seems, every grocery store egg nog is "crap", "no flavour", "not creamy enough", blah blah blah. Yes folks, my husband has become an egg nog Snob. He will now only drink nog from Mac's Milk. A local convenience store here in town.

Besides costing more, I wondered what the difference was, so I compared labels of the infamous Mac's Milk nog to our grocery store nog. I nearly fainted when I read the fat content. The grocery store nog has 3 grams of fat PER cup. Not bad. The coveted nog from Mac's has 21 grams of fat PER cup. GWACK!!! PER CUP! 21 grams PER CUP! Can you say coronary in a glass. No friggin wonder he likes it so much better. The worse part, he so drinks much more than a "cup" each time. It is so very wrong for you. Wrong, wrong, wrong. My husband is officially horrified, yet saddened at the same time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Evil Doers aka: egg nog makers.

I would kindly suggest you seriously rethink that recipe. Pronto.
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The funniest part: he was wondering why he gained a few pounds over the past couple weeks, and with no holiday baking done to blame it on. He really didn't think it would be THAT bad for you.

DOESN'T TASTE SO GOOD NOW DOES IT, ERIC? Muahahahahahahah!!

Guess its back to grocery store nog for the rest of the season.

That or slim fast.

It's a Charlie Brown Christmas

We've been busy going to Christmas Parties, family gatherings, dance, soccer, tree hunting, gift shopping and the like. We've barely been home it seems and my house is starting to look neglected.

There is about 5 tons of laundry anxiously awaiting my attention. I have 5 million gifts to wrap as I have not yet wrapped a one. There are dust bunnies the size of our dog running amok, and the playroom is in desperate need of a cleaning BEFORE we are inundated with the new toys from Christmas. I've not sent one Christmas card out as I've yet to even address them. I still have at least four gifts to sew and I've baked NOT ONE friggin cookie. My kitchenaide mixer stands neglected on the counter.

We were even late getting our tree this year. (My fault, being sick again and all.) We finally dragged the kids to our local Christmas tree farm in search of the holy grail Christmas tree, which eluded us again this year. In years past, we've had some impressive trees. With a new much bigger house, we were excited to find a tree that would hit the ceiling and spread out like the Griswold's tree from Christmas Vacation. However, since we were late getting a tree, the pickings were slim. Anything taller them me, was a pathetic skinny Grinch looking thing.

We were getting frustrated, trudging through the mud, (me lugging 7 month old baby in a sling), trying to keep the boy from falling face first in the mud, removing the girls mud covered socks as she kept walking out of her rain boots. My husband throws in the towel and says we should just get one of the big pre cut trees they have for sale, for much more money. Then, there, in the middle of all these ugly squat charlie brown trees, the boy throws his arms around one particularly ugly tree and refuses to let go. This is the tree, his heart is set and he wants to help cut her down. He wants no part of a pre cut tree and will not have our Christmas tradition of cutting down our own thrown to the wind. We give in and cut her down the boy and his dad did.

Its a funny colour green, about 5 feet tall with rather large bare spots and a warped trunk.

At least our house smells great.

What I REALLY want for Christmas

1. Just once, the item I am looking for, to be actually in stock. Oh and on sale, because that's always a bonus.

2. My dog to stop peeing on MY stuff.

3. To win the lottery.

4. Diamond earrings, tennis braclet, past present future ring...okay, so pretty much anything with a diamond.

5. An IPOD, cause I am stupid like that.

6. Snow, to come Christmas eve and completely dissapear by boxing day.

7. For stores to be CLOSED on boxing day and give people a friggin break.

8. For some little elves to come into my house, wrap all my gifts, bake a ton of goodies and clean my house.

9. For my nearly 8 month old baby to sleep through the night and not wake until at least 7am.

10. Black 2007 Wrangler Unlimited X 4x4, because it has four doors and seats 5!! Who says I can't have a jeep!!!

Sugar Daddy

We took the kids to see the Santa Claus parade. Night time parades are the best. All the floats are lit up with an array of christmasy twinkle lights. Nice way to kick off the Christmas season. The only downfall, its friggin cold. You really really need to bundle up.

Our Saturdays are busy. We have dance in the morning, soccer in the afternoon and errands to run. This weeks soccer game was at 4pm, over at 5pm and then we had to feed the wild ones and get to the parade, in another city, for 6pm.

So we were late. Very, very late. We got there in time to see a couple of floats and of course the big guy in red. The girl was happy. The boy was not. He wanted to see more. We bribed him with donuts and hot chocolate at the local coffee shop.

Grandma met us at the coffee shop. She asked the girl what she though of seeing Santa.

The Girl: He's cute.
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The girl loves fishing and always wants to go with her Uncle, who is an avid fisherman. He was over visiting today.

The Uncle: Ask Santa for some fishing boots.

The Girl: I am and I am going to the North Pole to see all the toys. And then I'm gonna catch a ride home with the "cute bugger" so I can see my house and go in the chimney.

The Uncle: How are you getting there?

The Girl: Daddy's car, but I'm driving.
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Fast forward 17 years and we have this vision of our 20 year old daughter dating men who look like Santa. Oh the horror.

Santa, you really ring my bell.

The Girl Makes a Christmas List

Okay, so now that Halloween is done and over, all concentrations go to Christmas. We sat the boy and the girl down, pens in hand, wish book on the table and began the yearly process of figuring out what the heck these kids want for Christmas. The boy asked for typically boys things, legos, pirates, dinos, and games. The girl, well that was something different entirely.

The Girls Christmas Wish List

• A Unicorn that flies with pretend wings that eats an apple
• Ariel Barbie
• Pretend doughnuts
• Little Pet Shops
• Polly Pockets
• Tamagachi
• Something else that is a honker thing that makes a noise like honk honk honk
• Pretend Candy
• Pretend Jumper Ballerinas that fly and dance
• Something that growls like a cheetah
• A mittenglove
• Pretend Yogurt
• A teddybear that cuddles me, with buttons and says hello.
• A mouse that squeaks squeaks squeaks

Seriously, can you imagine the look on the toyrsus's clerks face when I show them this list?

Now we spend the next few weeks trying to decipher what the heck she means.