Friday, August 25, 2006

The Zoo, We sure felt at home.

Back from the Toronto Zoo. We are still in one piece, barely. Frazzled, distressed, and exhausted would be the correct description of how I am feeling at this precise moment.

First it was raining all day, which at first you think, not a great day for the Zoo. But you would be wrong. Rain keeps the people away, but it brings the animals out. (I am not referring to my children as animals.....this time, wait till later in this post). However, not a fan of getting soaked.

It was frustrating getting there, because a late Friday morning is apparently the WRONG time to travel through Toronto. Traffic was maddening because every Tom, Dick and Harry was trying to get to the 400 and take over cottage country with their big fat ugly SUV's and even bigger holier than thou attitudes. All the while the girl is asking us every 10 minutes " Are we here?", or my personal favorite " I really really have to pee". She doesn't. She just fascinated with public washrooms. Being stuck in traffic with a crying infant, a shrill 3 year old girl, and a 5 year old boy, who is curious how shrill he can make the girl, can seriously make any normal adult consider alcoholism. Notice I said normal. I 'll have another bartender...She slurrrrsss.

Also I forgot my camera. I mean I thought I did. It was in the diaper bag the entire time, not that I realized this until we were back home. Grrrrrr.

After we arrive, make the necessary bathroom breaks, we start on the path to the African part of the Zoo. We mainly spend the first two hours juggling a crying baby and two very excited children who are bound and determined to scale a fence and become someones lunch today.

The Gorillas were in their outside enclosure today. I could seriously have sat there and watched them for hours. There is a new baby gorilla which is just so friggin cute. He was gleefully tormenting the other young gorillas. He was running around hitting the other gorilla, playing and causing trouble. It was amazing to stand there and watch them interact with each other. My kids watched them for about....30 seconds."Can we go now? I wanna see the Giraffes" After the girl yelling for the first 45 minutes at the Zoo, "I wanna see King Kong" . So much for King Kong.

The boy's thing is Cheetah's. He was in awe at the Cheetah exhibit. A huge cheetah sauntered right up to the glass viewing area, only 2 feet away from the boy's very happy face. We were the only ones there and this beautiful animal was checking out the boy for sometime. An experience of a life time. Later, the boy tells me the Cheetah was trying to give him an Eskimo kiss. Nice. He's now convinced he's a Cheetah Whisperer.

While visiting the Lion Den, the King himself sauntered up to the top of his hill and let out three huge roars. The kids spent quite awhile "entertaining" us with their version of his roar.

My husband also tripped over the handle of the wagon, knocked himself silly on a huge tree limb and nearly crushed the boy as he fell on him. He now has a HUGE red welt on his noggin. The best was the three young guys walking by at the exact time he did this, giggling their asses off. My husband's ego suffered just a little. All the same, I nearly died laughing.

Paybacks are a bitch. While taking the girl to the bathroom, I also had to go. The girls shrill voice calls out " Mommy, I like it when your 'gina is hairy. "Mortified doesn't even begin to describe how I felt at that exact moment. My husband has laughed non stop since. I am laughing now, not so much then.

The ride home was horrible. The baby cried, the girl wined, the boy annoyed, I now have a few less nerves and my husband has a nice goose egg for his troubles.

Despite it all, it was worth it.

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