Friday, July 07, 2006

Signs, signs, everywhere there are signs.

Yup. I am just friggin giddy about earwigs, June bugs, spiders and ants the size of quarters. I hate this time of year for the insect population alone. Never mind the heat.

I am convinced they know it and are converging on my home because they can smell fear. Its like when a dog knows when your do June bugs. Our new house has a fireplace. No one told me before we signed on the dotted line, that June bugs are known to fly into your home through them. I figured the tightly shut glass doors would keep the disgusting things out, but nooooooooooo, they fit through the air vents I didn't know were there. I would have seriously reconsidered buying it!

So, the other day, in the wee wee hours of the night, I drag myself out of bed to go warm a bottle for the baby. Drag myself down the stairs to the kitchen in the pitch dark, nary a light on, and then I hear it. This strange clicking sound coming from somewhere in kitchen. My heart is nearly pounding through chest, (yes the thought of the paramedics finding me in my fuchsia boy shorts and black tank flash across my mind, I could after all be having a heart attack at this very moment), because I know that creepy mind numbing sound is coming from the dreaded and feared June bug. I muster all the courage I have,(which is meager) and flick on a light, and there before me, on the ground, in all its purple shiny gross glory, a freaking June bug, the size of a small melon. I am not joking. Okay exaggerating yes...but still huge to me. I did what any quick thinking human would do when its home is under attack. I grabbed the nearest thing, an empty Dr pepper can and......trapped it underneath until my husband woke up to remove it. Hows that for bravery.

My husband goes down for work at 6am, and discovers a Dr Pepper can sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. A normal day in living a life with me.

Then there's the Girl, she picks them up and tells me their "her friends". Awwww, how cute. How do you know that little green inch worm DOESN'T BITE????? Whatever. How can someone with my genes befriend a *GASP* insect. I am beginning to suspect child was switched at birth....

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