Well, here we are already. The boy's first day of school. Big momentous occasion in a child's small life. Most parents are emotional, distraught at the prospect of their little ones growing up so fast. Taking photos (which we did), thinking back on the infant years, how fast they truly go. Awww, warm and fuzzy.
Then, there's me. I will now live in fear for the rest of the boy's school years, waiting for the phone call(s) and believe me, there will be phone calls. See, the boy is quite intelligent and witty and a ham. (Yes, I know EVERY one thinks this of their child, but truly those who've met him can attest, this one stands out in a crowd). His imagination is off the charts and his retention of data overwhelming.
Fear #1: He is presently fascinated with the word Anaconda (see, your probably already laughing, because you know where I am going with this.) He will come out of the bathroom and announce, loudly, to whomever happens to visiting our humble abode.."Mom, come see the Anaconda in the toilet....Or my personal favorite and signs of a future guys guy, he refers to his um..Manhood as an anaconda. He's four.
He also refers to it as the worm or even better, the little guy. Is this naming the parts inbreed in men?
Fear #2: A friend of mine used to be a teachers aide. Her best memory is a four year old boy that told her, his dad has a red ring around his bum after going potty!! I laughed so hard, my sides hurt, then my head. I realized my son will become a funny memory (or two or three) for a teacher shortly.
Fear #3: My family is from the east cost. We use swear words as punctuation. No good can come of this.
Fear#4: Myself getting banned from his school. You laugh? Believe me, it could happen. I have a habit of speaking my mind...Sometimes a little too bluntly. I am a true Aries. I dive right in. I don't agree with most decisions the school board has put out over the past few years. Don't get me started on this new two lunches decision. Basically, I believe we are teaching our children to suppress their anger with this whole zero tolerance bullshit. Let kids be kids. They argue, they fight, their friends 10 minutes later. Its how we grew up and I do believe a lot of us actually survived grade school. And yes, the boy does play with toy guns. (He is taught to understand what it is and where it should be pointed) Enough of the serious crap, I just have visions of me getting dragged out of the boy's school by security. Maybe I should reconsider volunteering for school council.
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